Sunday, 10 March 2013

The Speech

You might have guessed that the special guest speaker flying all the way from Sudan to make the small presentation "Life After Opening A Quilt Shop" was, in fact, helpful hubby Dave... here's a slightly cleaned up version for those of you who didn't make it to the speech bit of the party on time... and yes, he does know guys quilt too! 

"Quilting is obviously a woman thing. Only a woman would see logic in cutting up a perfectly good piece of cloth, only to sew it back together again.  I, as a man, can only hope there is some form of logic behind this activity.
So, considering my somewhat male view of ‘the hobby’… which I would like to add, more often resembles an obsession, you will understand how concerned I was when Angela informed me that she intended to open her little sewing emporium, AND that I would be allowed to finance, build shelves, paint and repair, clean windows, polish  shelves, transport things from A to B and, as necessary, travel to B so that I can take the same items back to A… and of course sacrifice my Christmas turkey dinner to lay carpet tiles in said aforementioned emporium… Turkey being replaced by chicken due a large purchase of Christmas fabric… Which is currently on sale at fantastic prices.
Which leads neatly on to the fact that ladies, somehow, conveniently avoid discussing how much a particular quilt or quilting item may actually cost… because, as we men know, anything required for quilting is a ‘need’ and not a ‘want’, so any discussion of the cost is treated in the same way a conversation about farting… we know it’s something we all NEED to do, but it's something we would never discuss.
So… 12 months ago Angela opened the doors on her "very own quilt shop" with all of my life's savings at her disposal. She purchased solid shelving, sturdy tables and individually coloured chairs etc... I, as you know, have been forced to travel the globe extensively, living the life of a tramp, suffering the stresses of executive travel, 5 star hotels, receiving a top award along the way. By the way, I was recently very honoured to receive your best regards whilst I was very, very… very poorly in hospital, to be honest, it was the only way I could get a bit of a holiday and not have to do more little jobs in the shop.
So, despite my best attempts, it would appear that Angela' s little venture has proven to be something of a success.  I have, as I travel the globe, shown many company secretaries the blog, and they have all liked the photographs of your quilts and have commented on how wonderful the quilts are, loving the patterns and colours that you have all created by ‘cutting up a perfectly good pieces of cloth and then sewing it back together again’. Evidently this is a global woman thing which mere men will never understand! But the one comment all of the ladies in Sudan, Ethiopia, Tanzania, Nigeria, Ghana even Uttoxeter make is, that this little quilt shop seems to
be more like a social club, rather than a business!  And they all say how much they would like to be a part of it.
The blog, as you probably know is something which Angela updates religiously almost every day, it has become so read globally that if she doesn't update daily, some ladies actually get withdrawal
symptoms. In fact, today it’s fair to say that the insignificant blog is becoming incredibly significant as it moves on towards 200,000 total visits with over 300 visits each day.
The Blog is the only form of advertising  that ‘Angie in the quilts blog spot’  will do, which means that, not only must I wait longer before I can retire, but the only other form of advertising we have is by word of mouth… so you ladies must talking very loudly, and for that
you have my deepest thanks.
Angela is, as you all know, a bit of a traditionalist. I think we should have a huge, flashing, neon sign outside the shop. She, on the other hand, prefers Bunting, which has flapped itself silly in all weathers over the past year... I have noticed today, that the number of BUNTS on the bunting has increased and I must say, they are all very good… I know that the response to the Bunting Challenge surprised Angela, and believe me she has told me so, repeatedly!  Thanks again.
Of course I have to mention the back room ladies who have helped Angela make sure the shop is clean and ready for action, as usual they have been given one of Angela's pet names… The J Team. I though, think you should be called the ‘J Cloths’… but MANY THANKS to them.
This little presentation was described on the blog as a talk about life after opening a quilt shop. To be totally frank, the one thing I have learned on my occasional visits to the shop (which I would add, would be more frequent if there was a better selection of biscuits) is that there is no life after quilting, there is just the next quilt… which, by the way, I think should be a Christmas one… to take advantage of the fantastic prices on the Christmas fabrics!
So to close, all I have to say is something you already know, and that is that everything is only here because Angela wanted to play shop. This ‘business’ is not successful due to planning or working to a business plan… the entire success is down to one single, unstoppable force… called Angela!

By David Whiston

2 comments:

Vicki said...

What could be better than a supportive husband!

Quinta da Quilter said...

Just fantastic!
I can hear him delivering it . . . tee hee hee!
Congratulations on your first full year!!
Woo hoo!